arguments are often start because someone uses an unnecessarily angry tone
i can't remember the last time i was in an argument. but that's my personality. watching people who argue often it seems like their arguments are frequently rooted solely in their tone of voice. where the topic and the tone do not match. which causes others to feel defensive and respond with a similarly angry tone. starting with calm and kind tone is probably more effective. to be fair that is just how some people communicate. maybe it can help to pay attention to others and your own tones.